That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Randomize
