I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
