yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
