and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Sober January is a disaster.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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