Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
