dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
