Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
