During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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