Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
