Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
