Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
