k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
