so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
