go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
