He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Randomize
