my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
