That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
