I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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