I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
