The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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