So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize