You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
