they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
