I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
