He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
