I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
