He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Can I color on your dick again?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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