he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
