I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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