the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
