It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
