You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
