Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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