He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
