And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
