I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Holy sore nipples Batman
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
