I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
