She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
