Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she peed on how many people?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It's shark week go big or go home
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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