I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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