Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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