Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
