I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
