My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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