dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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