we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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