I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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