I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
