Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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