Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
