He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
