So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm always down for nudity.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
