By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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