i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
