I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
why do cheetos always look like penises
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
