if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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